i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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