why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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