every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
