i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
