You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
