Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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