The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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