apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i think im in europe. pls send help
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
