How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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