This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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