We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
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