wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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