if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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