I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
