Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
