It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
