I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
