I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Randomize
