And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
