I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
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