Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She bit a glass in half.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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