and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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