I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
