Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
