i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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