All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
