And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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