I feel like I'm in dance class right now
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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