I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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