THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
