I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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