dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
