he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
