A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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