She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
