Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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