I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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