Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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