I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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