# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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