I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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