Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You're a waste of cheezeits
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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