Sry I called you an 8
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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