does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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