When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
