i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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