Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
