no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
