I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
