Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
